LiFe
Saturday, October 04, 2003
[ last edited by *celly on 9:41 PM ]
9:41 PM



"Is it my fault tt we're drifting or wad?" i tot as i sat in the bus, looking out of the window. I feel the drift now, n i suppose i realised it 1st, but never tried to make efforts to reconcile. Y? i tot. If only 1 person tells u tt she feels tt the 2 of u haf drifted, the blame cld b on either 1, but when 2 ppl tell u tt whoz to blame 4 it? m i trying to live in my own nutshell, shutting myself out from the world tt so ever changes rapidly? I can only say sorry 4 all the annoying or inconsiderate things tt i've done. i relli m sorry 4 it, but wad has made me wan to isolate myself is cuz of the things tt u do. I din mean to try to drift away frm u rini my dearest fren, but it juz seems to me tt u no longer use to care as much as u wld haf n were more interested in ur new frenz. So i decided to 'grant' ur wish. i wld stand in the background looking at how happy u r wif ur new frenz, hoping tt someday i'll b like 1 of em too, wishing our frenship wld b the same again. To me, it seemed like u wanted to avoid me, leaving me wif kirsten most of the time. I dunno. Mayb itz juz me. Every1 in the world is selfish in 1 way or the other, so i guess i too m selfish.

To Rachel, another of my dearest fren.
I guess as exam time arrives the tension btwn us becomes very taut again. Believe me k, i nv did or do wan to compete wif u. i did realise the drift btwn us n now i do find u a lil irritating like u find me. well, i tink it started wif u suaning eunice n me. tt was prob y i started to drift away frm u. mayb u shld b more tactful n keep certain things in ur heart. i do tink u're an excellent fren, entertaining me wif ur bimbotic actions n so on, but sometimes u relli do need to noe a lil limits. Sorry to sound like im lecturing u or smth, but i feel tt u can b relli an angel if u wan to, but sometimes kill me wif the words tt u say. sometimes i feel like crying, after being suaned by u, but i braced myself up n wld often not tear, n wld tink tt rachel wld change 1 day. she'll grow out of it. i relli cherish our frenship very much n shall we make a pact tt no matter wad we will alwayz b frenz? even if studies or wadeva came in the way we'll solve the problem ya? n i wanna affirm u tt i wld nv compete wif u cuz i will nv beat u. u r prettier, smarter, more charming than me n indeed more talented n in almost all wayz betta than me. yep tis mite prob make ur ego shoot up to like 200% but ya, not trying to flatter u or smth. but juz stating the truth. hopefully u wun make use of tis n try to 'beat' me down ya?

ok last part. i relli hope tt our frenships will eternal, n tt it wldnt juz fall liddat. i will try to compensate, but i hope u 2, will also try.