[ last edited by *celly on 1:02 PM ]
1:02 PM

ever listened to hold on? now i know how the person must have felt. i am feeling the same way too. how is it possible to hold on, when all you want to do is to die now? what is there to hold on to? the world is such a weird place. you never know what's gonna happen next. no one knows. being whipped with a cane at a grand old age of 15 is never fun. i feel like no one cares about me at all. why is this world so hard and cold? why do people constantly have to hide their feelings? is it wrong to tell the truth? and why do people who have authority always abuse what they have? i wish i have the answers to these questions... you ask me a question. i want to reply and i did reply. what did you do to me? whack me up just because i replied you. is this the way it should be happening? i am reduced to a pathetic state just because of a question. body filled with cuts from the cane that are bloody and drying up. is this the way i should be treated? with tears flowing down my swollen red eyes i think about these questions. can anyone answer these questions at all? anyone? i just feel like dying now... why cant i be older now? i want to grow out of this age. soon. i don't want to use your money anymore. i wish i can just earn money and get the hell out of this place which has no love at all. where is the love?

This world
This world is cold
But you don't
You don't have to go
You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems to care
You're mother's gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bear

Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking, you're one step closer
Don't stop searching, it's not over
Hold on if you feel like letting go
Hold on it gets better than you know
Hold on

hold on. does it get any better? i wonder..

[ last edited by *celly on 1:22 PM ]
1:22 PM

4 Days to christmas!! im so excited bout christmas! cant wait to get presents man! eh but i havent gone christmas shopping yet! haha everyone has more or less gotten everythin ald.. but me? still waiting 4 a day i can go shopping... mayb tmr... mayb tues? btw yesterday i got paid 4 teaching skating. $75 only.. so little!! but the rink still owes me $100. itz a great job i tell u! im a understudy so tt means i learn how to b a coach n i get $5 every lesson tt i 'teach'. ttz half an hr $5. haha ya but i only can 'teach' very minimal lessons like 2per day at most? ya but not tt bad tho.. juz go dere slack n get $5. wad is good is teaching kids! kids frm YMCA came n everytime i teach em i get $50. but i only taught 2 sessions ya so i haf bout $100 frm em! whee!!! haha :)

[ last edited by *celly on 3:38 PM ]
3:38 PM

ahhh!! terrible headache! i can feel the nerves in my head throbbing away! even taking panadol doesnt help relieve it! i dun wanna fall sick! every1 around me's sick. yikes. ppl like my bro... derek.. sarah.. benjamin.. matthew.. n more.. mayb itz cuz i havent got enuf slp. mayb itz cuz of u. shldnt haf told u bout the issue yesterday. wadz wif tt reaction? i tot we were juz frenz only. now u make me very afraid of u ya noe? im scared of ur reaction. u keep saying u're sad... n u din slp last nite cuz of me. i feel so bad. tt reminds me of guilty by blue.

If it's wrong to tell the truth
What am I supposed to do
All I want to do is speak my mind

seriously i shldnt haf told u. i treat u like a fren only. 1 whom i can confide to. never tot tt we'll be more than juz frenz... im sorry. i really am. i cant stop tinking bout the 1 tt i like. im sorry i cant accept u but i bet u'll find some1 much betta than me... yep.

[ last edited by *celly on 1:30 PM ]
1:30 PM

1:28 PM

wheee!!! church camp was so fun!! everythin was good other than the food n water there... man... the food was terrible!! 10 itmes worse than the norm tt i wld eat. n the water tasted like it came outta the swimming pool! totally chlorinated man.. even when u boil it it still tastes like chlorine, juz tt itz hot. yucks eh? but the place was nice. itz a beach resort wif many sports facilities n of cuz the beach... but the beach is so dirty!!! n the sand is not fine.. so rough.. kana sandcut while playing volleyball. volleyball is so fun!! played it like almost everyday man! but so sad. still cant play well. issac's so pro at volleyball man... so he became our shi fu 4 1 day, teaching those who were playing to dig, set, spike n serve. played many hours of volley n now a lil lobstered ald. quite happy cuz i got a lil tan now.. hehe juz a lil sad tt i din go shopping cuz i heard bout the great bargains tt the gals got. the messages were good too. somehow sometimes i wld fall aslp in it tho... haha ya at least not like some others who alwayz slp eh?? *winks winks.. u noe who u ppl r... haha =) but devotion was worse 4 me i tink.. kept falling aslp! wad to do.. had uncle vincent ma... haha but i did learn a lot thru it tho.... now i will try to do devotions as often as possible. haha haf many pleasant memories of camp now wif the youths. hope tt those who r sick or gonna fall sick recover soon. haha enuf of typing.. need more info juz msg me la..