Monday, May 31, 2004
disgusting tchers. esp ms kang. n tt good 4 nothin mrs khoo. hp got confiscated today n no i am SO NOT REMORSE ARBOUT IT.
haha watched day after tmr today wif rach! aweeesome man! wooo tt guy sam is so damn cute! hez so sweet to the gal... man... *wonders who wld do things like tt 4 me man... haha risked his life juz to get pennicilin 4 her... awww... o n watched last part of deep impact. itzso saddening! cant imagine how the world wld be like in time to come. will tmr b like that? i tink i shld start cherishing all tt i haf instead of lamenting abt them...
Friday, May 28, 2004
such a bad day today man... ms wee was so angry wif our class that she left class halfway. felt so bad after tt cuz i was talking when she was teaching. altho i wasnt the only 1, guilt sank in my heart after she left halfway. sometimes i feel tt she's such a poor thing. gotta endure wif our nonsense. however, we're alwayz so insensible. even after the mrs lee thing, we still dun really noe how to treasure ppl. well we said sorry to her as a class after she came back sometime later, but she replied smth like dun wait till im dead den u all noe the meaning of sorry. my gosh... wif tt i felt so sad.. n guilty.. juz wanna let u noe tt ms wee wo ai ni! i've to realise tt i dun actually hate chinese. mayb itz cuz ms wee ni jiao dao you fang. lessons r nv boring wif her around. now i guess i'll miss u ms wee, after taking chinese o's. haha but i guess i mite still c u 4 chinese classes cuz my chinese is so bad... guess i'll hafta take again at the end of the yr. ms wee, i'll try my hardest to do well for this o's ya? wo bu hui gu fu nin de zai pei yu qi wang de. wo hui lao lao de ji zhu nin xiang wo shuo guo de yi qie :)
Thursday, May 27, 2004
i love chinese! n i love ms wee! i love smss n i love everything! haha im getting high... got back chinese paper today... wad shit man... only passed by 2.5 marks? only got a pathetic 52.5!!! pathetic man... i hope i do betta during o's. cannot dui bu qi ms wee.. n hua hu die... ok gotta go chiong.. haha o n im glad rjc beat acjc in rugby!! woo hoo!! haha broke the record tt ac held for the last 3 yrs.. hehe.. whee!!
Sunday, May 23, 2004
days these days r so hard to get by... my gosh..haf been having a headache since yesterday n itz still here! ahh!! been slping so much but it doesnt seem to help! keep falling aslp, n shortly after waking up i fall aslp again... shit la... havent done physics or chem or my amaths hw...so gonna get slaughtered by all the tchers tmr lor... n i cant do any work now! super tired... dunno y... sigghhh...
Thursday, May 20, 2004
man... todayz such a bad day! 2.4 run was like a terrible 15.20? so slow like tortise man! i betta run again... terrible B. got scolded damn badly by tt ang-tao-nei... lectured me for not being able to give concrete example for the ss qn tt he asked. i shivered wif fear while answering his qn. 1st time in my life sia.. nv haf i fumbled at the qns tt he bombards me wif. now im so so so scared of him! haha i understand how my fellow classmates feel now, because i did not fear him in the past, knowing tt i can answer his qns. gimme a break man ang-tao-nei... had 2.4 n was feeling so dizzy after running 25 stupid rounds in the stupid hall of my sch. altho i quite detest u 4 scolding me, i still tink u're a really great tcher. still say u not trying to pick on me... other ppl u only deliver 1 line of ur sarcastic remarks, whereas 4 me u scolded me till gou3 xie3 ling2 tou2 (dog blood spill head) haha sorry now i needa improve on my chinese so shall type so cheng yu in... must b the weather ttz making all the tchers super short tempered! ms wee scolded us 4 being lazy n all... ms ho made wei yan n some other ppl write I WILL HAND UP MATHS HOMEWORK ON TIME 870 times! my gosh... ya but not now.. after o's chinese. ya n tt ang-tao-nei.. crazy weather. crazy teachers. crazy world...
Saturday, May 15, 2004
Ripped this off Rini who ripped it off celeste... lolz
W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R
1) pierce your nose or tongue?
Tongue. nose make me look like indian? haha
2) be serious or be funny?
be more serious? haha im super slack man.. more on the funny side so i wanna b more serious now.. at least till 31st may.
3) drink whole or skim milk?
skim! whole so fattening.. haha
A R E Y O U
4) simple or complicated?
complicated? very complicated. unless u noe me very well den im simple.. lolz
D O Y O U P R E F E R
5) grey or gray?
i prefer gray. dunno y.. more classy than grey i guess.. haha weirdo me..
6) colored or black-and-white photos?
colored!
7) lust or love?
love. definitely love.
8) sunrise or sunset?
i tink both r as nice if u watch it with some1 u love. i prefer sunset more, cuz when the sun rises, i hafta go to school.. sighz..
9) M&Ms or Skittles?
both. 1 sweet 1 chocolate.. depens on my mood i can choose either. but i'll choose m&ms now if u ask me..
10) rap or rock?
rap!
11) staying up late or waking up early?
staying up late! duh...
12) TV or radio?
Tv! me love the tv!!
13) eating apples or oranges?
apples... now dun like oranges ald..
A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y
14) Do you have a crush?
yes
15) Who is it?
i wun say who it is here. pai seh myself only.
D O Y O U P R E F E R
16) being hot or cold?
cold
17) sun or moon?
sun, but wifout the heat!
18) left or right?
left! im a lefty...
19) having 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend?
definitely 1 best friend
20) sun or rain?
sun wifout the heat, or rain when itz hot. haha confusing?
21) vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?
riniz weird.. ppl ask vanilla or chocolate she put strawberry.. well im not tt weird so i'll put chocolate.
22) green beans or carrots?
both oso not in favour of.. but i tink prefer green bean soup or carrot juice. dbl confusion?
23) boys or girls?
boys as bf, gals as frenz, b it best frenz good frenz or wadeva else la..actually guys oso can b my best frenz ar... haha eh u get my pt la rite? i only want guys as my bf as in bf=boifrenz n not bf=best frenz? do u get it or do u not?
24) low fat or fat free?
fat free betta.. sodium free means no taste!
M I S C E L L A N E O U S
25) What is your biggest fear in the world?
loneliness mainly... n saddness n silence. im scared of silence.
26) Kids or no kids?
kids! i love em!
27) Cat or dog?
rini loves lobsters! haha i shall get 1 for her as pet for her b'day... i love dogs more... find cats detestable...
28) Mustard or ketchup?
mustard on hotdogs n sandwiches only.. the rest ketchup... haha y does food have such weird names? hotdogs r not made of dogs while sandwiches dun contain sand! cheat my money......
29) Hard cover books or soft cover books?
soft cover.lighter wad... n cheaper.. haha
30) Newspaper or magazines?
Magazines for fashion,newspaper for news.
31) Wonder or amazement?
got diff meh? how bout both?
32) Red car or white car?
red!! red ferrari or red lotus! bring it on man!
33) Happy and poor or sad and rich?
happy n poor.
34) Singing or dancing?
dancing! luuurrrvee dancing!
35) Hugging or kissing?
both.hugs r more comforting n ehh.. nicer feeling la.. but kisses r cool too altho i havent been kissed b4... lolz
36) Corduroy or plain?
cord in winter plain in summer.
37) Happy or sad?
HAPPY! shalalalaala itz so good to b happy shalalalala
A B O U T Y O U
Full name?
Celena Tan Yi Zhi
Nicknames:
rini u 4got lucy... how cld u haf 4gotten tt? mine ar.. cel, celly, cellywelly, yi zi (chair) o n the newly acclaimed grace. haha
Names and ages of siblings?
joachim 14, nicole 9
Number of candles that appeared on your last birthdae cake?
hmmm 16 lor... in the airport in korea
Date that you regularly blow them out?
28th feb
Pets?
guinea pig..
11:32 PM
Happy 57th Birthday Mrs Lee! altho u're no longer here physically, u're alwayz in my heart, n i wanna wish u a happy birthday! tis must b 1 of ur happiest birthdays, being able to celebrate it wif God. :)
Thursday, May 13, 2004
woo!! finally the weekends are coming! simply love weekends nowadays... hehe gonig out wif rini tmr! prob gonna watch movie n go shopping! shiok man...
went swimming today.. ahhh felt so relaxed yet worked out.. havent worked out ever since dunno when man.. sat in the pool, looked up into the dark skies and i saw many stars. the view was magnificent! i was reminded of the good times we had last december. still remembered on 31st dec 2003/1st jan 2004, we were watching stars in vicz house.. it was such a lovely experience! my heart thumped so nervously. we even sang come what may. always wondering whether you've ever loved me. mayb u treat me juz like another brother. haha i dunno.. reminiscing about the past.. if only i wasnt in sec 4 now... life wld b much more fun, exciting n interesting...
shit tink im coming down wif flu!!!! ahh!!!
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
i promised not to cry today, but again i cried. each time i see you on screens, i break down. whether is it a matter of a replay of something i've seen before, or whether if it's something new. you really played such an important figure in the development of many girls. we'll never forget you. we know we've got to move on. we will move on, and show you results. by the way, i think your daughter has such a cute character. the way she spoke... was so like you. humourous and entertaining, without having to read from a script. that is something i've always admired you for. speaking from the bottom of your heart, you told a girl.
i thank God that he sent you down to be our principal. i thank Him even more for bringing you up to heaven at this point of time. i believe God had everything planned well and perfect. initially, i thought God was cruel to summon you to heaven at this point in time, but i guess God really planned it well. He knew you've contributed a lot and have done a lot to bring up the reputation of st. margaret's as a good school. he knew too that there are many intelligent people in our level, but have not much motivation to work hard, which might bring about st. margaret's not being able to rise to its potential. so what did God do? he made you arrive at heaven's doorstep so that we would then realise that we have all been in slumber, and we need to wake up from this midsummer night's dream. your death had awakened us, and this had propelled us to want to do well for the o's. i believe everything that you've done was for a good reason, and all the rebellious students you faced, were God sent to make st. margaret's a better school, growing and glowing strongly in God's name.
so i would like to comfort those who are still grieving. do not grieve, for we'll see mrs lee again someday. God has His reasons for mrs lee's demise. life's going to be difficult without her, but remember what she always wanted, what she dreams of st. margaret's to be. those still lazing away, i hope that for mrs lee, you all will start to work hard. do not grieve, because im sure mrs lee would rather all of us devote our time in producing good results that would delight her, than to be sad for her demise, because only the flesh had passed away, her soul lingers forever, watching us from up above. let us all pray that st. margaret's will rise up to the challenge, and may st. margaret's always be a family, unbroken by anything.
Monday, May 10, 2004
went for your funeral today. though i didn't get to see the service properly, i still appreciate being able to be there to see you off your last journey in this world. i watched the service from the pathetic tv, but could hear every single word people said about you, see everything that happened. today, i cried the most. i couldn't bear to see you leaving us just like that. i haven't even the chance to thank you for allowing me to go to korea, or even tell you how much i enjoyed it there or tell you how much i missed you and the school when i was there. in my eyes, you were and would always be perfect. no 1 else would replace your place in my heart. the new principal would although take over your place, but she'll probably be just another person the school can't do without. she'll be THE principal, not MY principal.
i know you'll want me to stop harping on your death. based on your character, i know you wouldn't want us to mourn anymore. instead, you want results. results that are satisfying in a short time. i will do just that. after tomorrow, i will leave your death behind and proceed on with life, because i know that you're safe in my Father's arms. may we meet again soon. see you, till then do we meet my beloved and always cherished principal, Mrs. Caroline Lee. you'll always be in my heart. :)
Sunday, May 09, 2004
hey people join in this movement to break the 30 barrier! something mrs lee had always wished for. put this image on your blogs if you support this movement ya? aim for 6 people!!!! we can do it! to God be the glory. His strength will see us through the difficulties that we'll face. trust in the Lord in all that we do!
just need to copy this and paste it in your blogs or jounals... yep let us all do this together! we can do it! ;)
<*img src*="http://www.81x.com/Authors/livvylu/Olevel.jpg**">
p.s. remove the asterix or ** first ya?
Saturday, May 08, 2004
impossible~!
that can't be you!
it still seems like a fantasy that mrs lee has passed away. the day passed, time crawling like a snail. went to mrs lee's wake today, and again i cried. i was suppose to be the strongest, yet today i was the weakest. i wasn't suppose to cry. we sang be thou my vision, her favourite hymn. just yesterday, i was humming and singing this tune that i so loved.
today i had to sing it again. this time, it sounded so choked. we were at the chapel of rememberance, a place that was so serene and peaceful. the voice that sang out this tune was choked and quivering with tears of sorrow and mucus. then we recited a few bible verses. i can't remember what we recited, probably because i was overwhelmed by grief. the time there seemed so short, because shortly, i realised that i was in front of her coffin, looking down at her face the final time. her face, it looked so pale, so artificial. the smile looked so plastered. i expected a face that looked like the mrs lee i knew, always radiant, cheerful and filled with energy. instead, what i saw was a pale, creased face with an artificial smile. i was taken aback. her face was not familiar to me at all. it took me quite awhile to register that the face was really mrs lee's face. immediately after i stepped down, i cried. i could not hold back those tears of disbelief and grief. it all seemed impossible and fictatious. i have even thought of how often i could come back to st. margaret's to visit her, or meet up with her for lunch. now, all this will never happen. the day i see her would be the day i die, where we'll be reunited again, in heaven.
st. margaretians, we must stand together as 1 family and unite as one. that way, mrs lee would be able to rest in peace. always remember her in our hearts, for without her, st. margaret's would not be where it is now, well-known for its niche in arts, academic results that are pretty good. i know all of you are very grieved, but let this come as a lesson to us that we should never take people or things for granted. never think that they'll always be there, because things always happen unexpectedly. tell the people whom you really love that you do love them. do not wait for tomorrow to come, because like in mrs lee's case, tomorrow might never come. one moment you can be wide awake, the next moment you've departed from this world already.
i miss you so so so much. i suddenly have so much to tell you. i want to talk to you, i want to hear your voice and see your face, but all this is impossible now. i wished i hadn't been bad and missed school. at least i would have seen you more. i promise you that i'll never miss school unnecessarily ever again. i promise you that i'll never complain about the long devotions we sometimes have. like what nexa said, we always complained about the many things in school. if only time could reverse itself, i would never complain at all about it. i wished i had told you how much i liked you as the principal of st. margaret's. i wished i had told you how much you've changed my life for the better. so many things that i now wish i had done or said, but now all i can do is regret.
monday will soon come, and that day will be the day mrs lee will be cremated. i want to go, yet i also do not want to go for it. i can't bear to see her being cremated. all this happened too fast. yet, i want to see her again. sigh. i keep sighing these days. i wonder when i will get over this. i really love you mrs lee. watch over st. margaret's ok? :) this is to you, mrs lee, your favourite hymn, which is also my favourite.
Be Thou My Vision
Be Thou my vision, oh Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best thought in the day and the night
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light
Be Thou my wisdom, be Thou my true word
I ever with Thee and Thou with me Lord
Be Thou my breastplate, my sword for the fight
Be Thou my armour and be Thou my might
Riches I need not, nor man's empty praise
Thou my inheritance, now and always
Thou and Thou only, Thou first in my heart
High king of heaven my treasure Thou art
High king of heaven, when battle is done
Grant heaven's joy to me, bright heaven sun
Christ of my own heart, whatever befall
Still be my vision, my ruler of all
Friday, May 07, 2004
there is none like you. you're the best principal one could ever ask for. dedicated, even till the last breath. i salute you for that. mrs caroline lee, you'll always be remembered in our hearts dearly. looking back at your picture gave me many fond memories, be it good or bad. i remembered the time i was scolded by you early last year for 'shielding' my classmate as class monitress. i thought i was a good liar, but you could see me through, like a piece of glass. i cried a river because of the scolding, and even nursed a grudge against you.
however, the grudge did not last long, because you showed kindness, compassion and responsibility which i greatly admired. despite being very strict with our discipline, like implementing rules that seemed ridiculous to us, we knew that it was for our own good. i looked up to you as my sort of role model. you cared a lot for the students, teachers, your staff and everyone else in the school. in a cold world that we live in now, st. margaret's was a place filled with warmth and life all because of you. your leadership had brought st. margaret's to greater heights, and i promise you that i'll study very hard to reap what you've planted in st. margaret's.
just not long ago, i was caught by you for having folded socks. this was what you said. surprisingly, i remembered every single word you said. maybe it was a sign to me that you were soon gonna leave, because a scatterbrain like me seldom remember detailed things like that easily.
mrs lee: celena, why is your socks folded?
me: o eh because my socks are very loose already. (tries to pull them up)
mrs lee: so what are you going to do about it?
me: i'll get a new pair later (tries to smile to get lesser scolding)
mrs lee: when later?
me: after school.
mrs lee: are you sure?
me: yes of course! i will get it.
mrs lee: good then :)
then she left me, went into the meeting room leaving behind her warm smile, which i will forever remember. that was the last smile she gave to me. the voice that once spoke rings in my head now. i am still in a state of shock and denial. this afternoon, i questioned God. i asked him why he took away our beloved principal. then he revealed to me that she is in heaven by His side already, and that is the greatest joy christians find. well i guess at least she doesnt need to endure all our nonsense anymore. i feel at a lost now. like a sheep without a sheperd, i do not look forward to school anymore.
folded many many paper cranes today, had a total of 1222 cranes all strung up. we spent the whole day making it, praying for hope, and those cranes sort of gave us hope. but all hopes were devasted when the mr ng came in at 2.03pm. he announced the death of mrs lee. everyone was greatly grieved. we all broke down and just cried. even mr ng cried. time passed like lightning. without our knowledge, we actually cried for close to an hour. eyes were sore, faces were blemished with tear lines, tissues were seen everywhere. i held on tightly to wei yan as we cried on and on. then we said a prayer. we were still grieved then, but we braced ourselves together, and brought the long stretch of cranes to the office. we had planned to send it to the hospital, but by noon, it was not necessary anymore. we hung it across the pillars outside the office, all 1222 of them. my heart sank when i saw these cranes. I LOVE YOU MRS CAROLINE LEE. NO OTHER PRINCIPAL HAS TOUCHED MY HEART AS MUCH. now exams are postponed. no doubt im happy bout it, but i would rather have 2 times the number of exams and have you back than to have exams postponed and lose you forever. i never got to see the last of you. should not have been absent for the last 2 days. MRS LEE, I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I MISS YOUR VOICE, YOUR FACE AND ALL. i know i'll never get to see you alive and well again. i pray that you'll watch over us from heaven. may your soul find peace in the house of God. Remembered forever, in loving memory of MRS CAROLINE LEE CHON PING.
In Loving Memory of Caroline Ong Chon Ping, 1947-2004
