LiFe: 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
Monday, August 30, 2004
[ last edited by *celly on 11:26 PM ]
11:26 PM



damnit. sick like nobody's business man. 1st sign was on thursday. had diahrroea even without eating anythin! how weird's that. then the day went on, no diahrroea. friday morning came and again had diahrroea. only occurs in the mornings man. then went to see doc in the afnoon after i came home from school. doc tan said i've got stomach flu. weirdd.... i dint even eat much got stomach flu??! o well... same day i caught the family virus: cough, flu and sore throat, or commonly known as upper respiratory tract infection. suay is 1 word to describe myself man. so got pills n mixture for cough, stomach flu, sore throat n stomach pain. felt weak after eating antibiotics. was trembling throughout the night. had to wear the jacket that i wore in korea (-10 degrees celcius) to sleep in a non-air-con room. woke up in the middle of the nite in a whole bed of sweat. sat was a terrible day. whole day was a hot summer/ freezing winter day for me. 1 minute i was cold. the next, i was feeling hot. temperature skyrocketed frm normal to bout 38.7. but fortunately the temperature went down on sunday. the whole trauma left me giddy and light-headed on sunday, still trembling. on went the day. got constipation now. reverse of diahorrea. must b the over dosage effect. had insomnia on sunday. slept only at 3, woke up at 6 to go to school for practical. by the time i reached school, i felt void of energy. school was just moving too fast for me to keep in tune with. had practicals. was like shit. din noe how to do tis, how to do tt. i bet i read my graph wrongly too cuz my gradientz wrong. bleahz. got cornea infection after i came home from school. how??!? i wonder. eye is pus-sing now, the pus looks juz like the phlegm in my throat. been cleaning it since afnoon. my right eye is teary and bloodshot now. hope it recovers soon. i needa do practicals with my contacts! all the heating and all.. shit lor... dun tink i'll b able to wear my contacts for months. at least not 4 the right side. pray for me ya ppl? i needa get thru tis fast. prelims in 2 weeks. btw the da vinci's code is so captivating! i read 52 chapters in 3 days. record for a non-reader like me man. altho i dun really approve of itz contents. so blasphemous man some parts.



Thursday, August 19, 2004
[ last edited by *celly on 10:50 PM ]
10:50 PM



Today was one in which i experienced countless emotions. I was happy, but now i no longer recognise this happiness. It seems so far and intangible. School was fun, had loads of funny things happening, great company. Tuition was great too except probably that i was annoyed with mrs kao. Then came the best part. I saw my eye candy and we sort of glanced at each other for awhile. I felt like cloud 9 till haiz..... i got into a quarrel with my brother, again for the stupid computer. I admit i was in the wrong because i was pissed with the shower, which had only a pathetic little bit of water coming out. So i kept shouting to get the others to switch off the taps. It didn't work and my bro got pissed with me. Then came the part where i did my ss homework on my mum's computer. Guess what? She offed it accidentally. I was super pissed and annoyed because the computer takes a gazillion years to set up. Went over to my bro's room to borrow his computer. He refused to, saying that he always gives in to me. So i got into a quarrel with him. I admit i started it, but if you were less hostile, things wouldnt turn out like that right? Even if you don't want to hear it, i think your attitude sucks. Please improve on it and stop letting your friends take advantage of you!!!! Do your freinds ask you out when they don't need you? i can tell you no. i saw that before. why would you rather believe your friends than me? im disappointed in you. thought you have a higher EQ than me so you can handle things better. whatever man. now i feel super worn out by this. i havent had a good nite's sleep ever since the weekend. please give me a break. stop asking your friends over. they speak profanities and vulgarities and are like ah bengs. dont want my cute brother to turn into an ah beng. if that is what you want, i cant do anything. maybe i should stop. tears keeps welling up, but no one seems to know. the facade that hides every painful truth will remain as it is, preventing others from hurting me deeper.


Thursday, August 12, 2004
[ last edited by *celly on 10:38 PM ]
10:38 PM



i just realised that good results indeed clears away all the dark clouds in my heart! I got an A1 for my chinese o's!!! ahhhhh i'm filled with happiness now that all the troubles seem to have disintegrated! i hope it'll continue till o's! FAVOURITE HOBBY NOW: try to collect as many A1s as possible!!!!



Friday, August 06, 2004
[ last edited by *celly on 12:31 AM ]
12:31 AM



so now im the cynical one eh? im not trying to be cynical ok. i don't enjoy that. im not that psycho. forget it. as the saying goes talking is empty. forget it. this wall of protection would not be torn by even the closest people. God, only you'll understand this. guide me through this period of time i pray... help me to be who you want me to be.



Thursday, August 05, 2004
[ last edited by *celly on 11:52 PM ]
11:52 PM



Sigh. My heart feels as dense as a pound of gold. Maybe it is just the night time factor, but maybe it's just me- pmsing .My mood now swings like that of the deflection of a galvanometer-fast and ever-changing. Im gonna be a BIG lightbulb tomorrow. I don't want to be one... although you guys insist that im not, i do feel the sense of emptiness all right? Attached vs. not attached, obviously there will be a 3rd party who would not feel comfortable. Forget it. Explaining does not help. It just makes things worse. Maybe i should just sit in my little own corner, watch my own VCDs and ignore everything else. I should start learning to say no. I tell some people to do it, but i don't preach what i teach. Life is enough with studies to bother me. I don't want more things to burden my heart, which has to deal with so many issues simultaneously like solving mathematical questions. I'm tired of this life. Who will give me a break and deliver me from this? So let me slip away... just let me slip away...